Trauma
To Sum Up…
Trauma isn’t the event that happened, it’s the body hangover that stayed.
Your body goes “well we’re not doing THAT again!”
So it installs a very aggressive security upgrade, constantly running in the background going:
Where is the danger?
It’s happening again!
Abort. Abort. Abort.
Trauma is what happens when this security system never stands down. It didn’t get the message that the event is over.
Trauma is the body’s version of unfinished business
Recovery is convincing the body it’s not in a hostage situation (and it can start to stand down now.
The Stress Cycle
From calm, to intense stress, then back to calm.
think of a hazel eating grass, then getting chased by a lion, then the lion finds something else and the hazel goes back to eating grass. That is a complete cycle. However, in humans we can stay stuck in that stress state for decades, even after the initial threat is over.
Trauma is the incomplete stress cycle.
Triggers are that cycle trying to find completion from the initial threat.
Types of Trauma
There are multiple ways to achieve the same outcome. Two people do not need to experience the same event(s) to end up face similar challenges.
Developmental trauma
Consider this “growing up too fast”.
When relaxing wasn’t really an option due to repeated instances of stress. this can be from bullying, reading the room, pressure of responsibility or performance, hiding emotions, etc.
The system very intelligently learned: “pay attention. Don’t mess this up.”
Typically referring to developmental years in children, but can be applied to any prolonged period.
Acute Trauma
The obvious kind. The big, unmistakeable events.
There is a clear start, and a clear event.
For example: a car crash, medical emergency, breakup etc.
Something sudden happens with no warning, and often no control.
The body goes: “Right. Never again.” So it remembers as a reflex.
Relational Trauma
When people were the stress.
It can be any person who who caused tension, unpredictable behaviour and a connection that required effort.
This can lead to: closeness seeming uncomfortable, distance looking ideal, but both feel wrong.
The nervous system registers it as the same as if there was one big event (like a car crash). Even if nothing bad is happening now.
Complex Trauma
When it never really ended.
Lots of little things in amongst massive things.
Stress on top of stress with no clear finish line.
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